May 2013
internetfeet:
People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t
Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”
And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
loungezombie:
i wonder if there’s an actual heaven and if there’s an actual angel called Castiel up there who’s just like “FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN THESE TEENAGERS STOP CALLING ME”
leftforbed:
leftforbed:
mcsnuggie:
true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn
why would the movie eat my popcorn
nevermind i get it
Homophobia is gay.: pastrymisha: Dean’s never seen... →
pastrymisha:
Dean’s never seen Castiel’s wings in reality, and now he never will.
Castiel talks about them quietly, only sometimes, when he’s feeling morose and nostalgic. Describes their span, the way they’d unfurl; how they were brown-black, dark, shiny when he was at his best. How warm…
mytoecold:
A guy I don’t know very well handed me his yearbook and asked me if I wanted to sign it.
I said yes, and shortly after he added, “Just don’t write anything gay.”
I wrote this:
Fuck my actual butthole. You are a boy and so am I. We are going to have sex that is gay. Pound my rock hard cock and bite me.
Love,
Drew
psilentasincjelli:
If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and...
krischicklicks:
the-winchester-initiative:
abnormalpanda:
dramasbomin:
221b-baker-sweets:
johnlock-consulting-husbands:
hootowlforlife:
itisnotofimport:
dear sherlock fandom,
no one besides you actually gives a shit how long you’ve been waiting for season 3.
sincerely, everyone else
We care!
Sincerely, the Whovians.
Avengers fandom has your back too.
...
ohanameansfandom:
Whenever anyone argues against marriage equality because of their religious views as a Christian I just want to hit them over the head repeatedly with a Bible whilst yelling
ADULTERY ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
LYING ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
DIVORCE ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
DISRESPECTING YOUR PARENTS ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
WORKING ON THE SABBATH ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
WORSHIPPING OTHER GODS ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
...
iamonlydorb:
sucysucyfivedolla:
the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg
oh no I’m not falling for this one again
amerrypotterurl:
When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom
KFC
notyour-sidekick:
grrrlfever:
my life became 600% better when i started acting like a self obsessed piece of shit like 10/10 would recommend
even if u don’t actually genuinely love yourself its fuckin fun to act like you think you’re the human embodiment of perfection go on try it life’s too short to not fall in love with yourself
Tony Stark is that you
chanelaforets:
can shia labeouf do a guest spot on hannibal
3 tags
WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THERE WAS OBAMA MONEY
doctorbaggins:
My aunt met someone at her store who worked on the set of The Avengers and he told her about how RDJ and Tom Hiddleston were always pranking each other on set and how Robert and Tom were doing a scene together and Robert couldn’t stay still in his Iron Man suit because he was feeling really uncomfortable so they had to take a break and during break Tom walked up to Robert and...
have u ever accidentally opened the wrong cabinet in ur kitchen and it’s just like wtf how long have i lived here again
the-winchester-initiative:
shinysherlock:
pickled-johnlock:
what do you say when someone asks what you’re doing and you’re reading homosexual fanfiction based off of a book written 150 years ago
Tell them you’re reading a transformative work based on late Victorian literature that questions traditional views of gender and sexuality.
That was fucking beautiful
weeps over drawing tablet: crackedchassis:... →
crackedchassis:
Metatron is spinning in lazy circles in Naomi’s desk chair, trying to decide which Heaven he wants to study for the day, and the door to the White Room slams open. Messy brown hair, blue eyes, and a familiar scowl greet him. Marv frowns. “Castiel. You weren’t supposed to die…
asap-tran:
really-shit:
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
fuck
